![]() If only I’d been able to watch Badhaai Do instead. I had no frame of reference to understand them, and films like Dostana did nothing to destigmatize my feelings. As a teenager, I would catch myself staring at a pretty girl and spiral into paranoia and confusion: Did anyone notice? Could they tell what I was thinking? Why couldn’t I control myself? What was I doing? My own desires felt alien to me. I grew up in a family and larger society that discouraged and sometimes actively denied the idea that a woman could be attracted to anyone, let alone other women. #Best lesbian kisses celebs bollywood movieI was entranced by every look, touch, and laugh they shared, almost unable to believe that this was a real movie I got to watch. Their love story is adorable and silly and earnestly, achingly sweet. Later on Sumi meets and falls for Rimjhim, a lesbian medical technician who cheerfully reciprocates her interest. It wasn’t played as a joke, it wasn’t fetishized, it was just a fact of life existing quietly and openly on screen. I was watching a Bollywood film where a woman expresses actual attraction towards another woman. It’s such a small moment-irrelevant to the larger story - but seeing it play out on screen was overwhelming. While her father exchanges pleasantries, she surreptitiously checks out the customer, smiling to herself as she does. A female customer pops in to collect some papers and Sumi instinctively stares. The moment I realized that I was watching something entirely new occurred in a scene where Sumi is working with her father at his copy shop. The humor is typical Bollywood humor, the family drama is typical Bollywood drama, and the montages are typical Bollywood montages but Badhaai Do is miles ahead of Ek Ladki and SMZS - and it is worlds away from Dostana. There really isn’t anything too out-of-the-ordinary about the plot of Badhaai Do. Shenanigans ensue, including hapless mother-in-laws, charming medical technicians, and an inevitable web of lies. The film stars Rajkummar Rao as Shardul, a closeted gay police officer, and Bhumi Pednekar as Sumi, a closeted lesbian physical education teacher, who decide to get married so that they can get their families off their backs. Still, the premise of Badhaai Do was interesting enough. I’d seen Ek Ladki Ko Dekha Toh Aisa Laga and Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan, both mainstream Bollywood films with gay characters, and I wasn’t particularly impressed by either. Explicitly gay characters are still fairly new to mainstream Bollywood and they’re often disrespected or sidelined in their own stories. ![]() When I first heard about Badhaai Do, I was intrigued but not expecting much. I don’t live in India anymore, and in the years since my move, I’ve watched other films and television shows about queer South Asians. ![]() A movie that let me imagine what life could be like for a gay girl in India. Underneath all the offensive, vicious grime, I could almost see a different movie - a light-hearted, stylized, ridiculously dramatic movie that actually celebrated being gay and Indian. Even though I hadn’t told anyone yet, I knew I was gay and I was quietly desperate to find some validation in the one gay Indian story I had on hand. I never mentioned the fact that I sometimes had dreams where I held a woman’s hand. Whenever I was asked about crushes or dating, I claimed that I was above the pettiness of romance. I knew I should have been upset by the film, and yet… a part of me was fascinated by the fake boyfriends quipping and leering on the screen. The pretend couple are stereotypically flamboyant and frivolous, while the actually gay characters are sex-crazed, lecherous predators. Dostana‘s portrayal of gayness is undeniably cruel. I wasn’t really reading my textbooks because I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the film. It was the only watchable thing on TV, so my mother put it on in the background while she worked and I ostensibly studied for exams. I saw Dostana for the second time when I was a teenager. To this day, I stand by my belief that Dostana has one of the greatest soundtracks of any Bollywood movie ever made. ![]() There wasn’t a kid in my grade who didn’t know the lyrics to Desi Girl. At the time, I was only interested in the songs which I had been hearing for weeks at school. It was a milestone for Indian cinema - one of the first mainstream acknowledgments of homosexuality in Bollywood. My mother rented the DVD and the family gathered to watch as Abhishek Bachchan and John Abraham pretended to be a gay couple while secretly pining over Priyanka Chopra. I saw Dostana for the first time when I was a child. The 200 Best Lesbian, Bisexual & Queer Movies Of All Time.LGBTQ Television Guide: What To Watch Now. ![]()
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